Cohousing, what it's like.

[penk]

I'm having a really hard time with a thread about Cohousing over on aroraborealis's 'confessional' thread. We have an obvious troll who is working very hard to lump Cohousing into some elitist, drama-filled, fratboy community of college buddies. Is this really the image folks see about Cohousing? Does the rest of my social group only see the drama, and not see what it's really like?

So, in that vein, let me show you what the days are like - it's 1:30pm, and today I have:

* Woken up in my house, with my son still snoring happily.
* Gone downstairs and chatted with my temporary housemates. People who have taken me in, because they are part of my community, during a hard time in my life. They are cohousers too. Had a delightful series of conversations.
* Made and ate breakfast with sleepy son, who quickly darted out of the house after food and went to the common house to play Magic with some of the other kids in the community.
* Installed some shelving into said housemates' kitchen - because my furniture is not being used atm, and would they like to use it until I need it again? Sure! - better they use it rather than it just sit in storage. Because we're all in the same community, it took 5 minutes to get the shelves out of storage and install them.
* Sent out mail asking for some cable connectors and wiring so we can set up to watch the superbowl in the common house tomorrow. I don't have all the gear, but qwrrty has a tuner, another household had some cables, and another household had a couple connectors I needed. I wandered around and picked up what I needed.
* Stopped by dbang's house because she txted me asking for a stud finder for some closet work she's doing. Dropped that off and chatted, also talked about one of her kids going with my son to a local game store this afternoon.
* Went over to omegabeth's house and sat chatting for a half an hour regarding life and stuff. Just socializing
* Back to the common house, installed the cabling and tested it - yay signal in the living room! While I'm not particularly interested in watching the superbowl, others are - and I like doing things for other people. It'll be ready for tomorrow.

And now it's 1:30, and I'm reading the above thread about how elitist, snobby, dismissive, and unneighborly we are, with tons of drama and stress at every turn.

It's frustrating - I love my community - why don't people see what we're doing right, and just spout out blather like this fool (who, btw, continues to post anonymously.)

Comments

[thespian.livejournal.com]

I have not been involved in that thread at all, but my impression of it was that there were some mild criticisms that were responded to by SH residents being assholes. Threatening people, accusing them of being rude when they were far less rude than many of those threads there (long before that little thing about drama I was being told people find me off putting, rude, angry and churlish), and otherwise...

Exactly what they said. You won't like to hear it, but you are proving their point with the really obnoxious responses. There was no, 'I'm sorry you feel that way, but here's some great things that I cherish, maybe it will change your mind', there was a big chorus of 'fuck you our lifestyle is great and how dare you attack it anonymously' in a thread that was about confessions, and a safe place to voice that, which that was certainly one.

Regardless of what you feel, you have people in the thread saying, 'wow, I'd been sort of neutral, but the responses of cohousers has convinced me that first guy was right', for a reason. And it wasn't the anon person who did that to you.

Take a step back and let it slide. Really. You're doing something interesting, but you're too involved - your emotional responses just made him look *right*.

[jacflash.livejournal.com]

It is true and fair to say that I overreacted early this morning, but... nobody was "threatened" with anything but a good in-person telling off.

[thespian.livejournal.com]

'I am seriously going to get in your face in person. Be ready. '

that isn't a slang phrase that means telling you off. that's an aggressive term it comes from street basketball, and refers to when you're actively trying to be intimidating to the person with the ball, usually accompanied by smack talk. It then moved up to other uses, but the same aggressive stance of trying to intimidate.

Regardless what you *think* you meant by the phrase, that's not what the phrase is taken as. it really does imply intimidation and physical aggression, in addition to the telling off.

[jacflash.livejournal.com]

Fair enough.

[qwrrty.livejournal.com]

I don't agree that the criticisms were less obnoxious than what shayde or jacflash said.

That said, I figure: that's kind of why it's an anonymous forum, so people can let it all hang out a bit. It's really important not to take any of it too seriously. So, yeah, it's annoying, but big deal.